THE ROOM YOU'RE READING
Social anxiety therapy
It isn't shyness and it isn't a preference for your own company. It's a nervous system running continuous threat assessment on other people's faces, and it's exhausting in a way that's hard to explain to anyone who doesn't do it.
Where it usually comes from
Rarely nowhere. Often there's a period — school, a family, a workplace — where being watched genuinely was unsafe, and the vigilance that made sense then never got switched off.
How we work
EMDR on the formative experiences rather than rehearsing social skills. Brainspotting when the dread is bodily and pre-verbal. EFT for the twenty minutes before you walk in.
What shifts
Not becoming extroverted. What changes is the running commentary quietening enough that you can actually be present with people, and recover faster afterwards.